When Do You Know That You Are a Good Enough Mom?

If you are the perfect parent, if you have never doubted yourself, feel free to leave this post now because the rest will not apply to you. All others may continue.

Motherhood is making news lately in a big way – from Tiger Mom, to the attachment parenting mom to the mom who does not love her child to the mom who sent her adopted child back to Russia to Botox Mom, and so on.   While those may be extreme cases, there is no denying that motherhood is tough.  So when do you know that you are a good enough mom?

The vast majority of us feel pressure to be fabulous parents, either pressure from our schools, from our doctors, from the “experts,” from other moms or the ever so effective self-imposed pressure.  If you are made to feel that you are not living up to the standard, the scrutiny (self-imposed or not) can become personal and hurtful.

Yet it’s important to remember that we all experience moments of self-doubt as a parent.  Maybe we can even agree that second guessing ourselves is a good thing because it means that we are analyzing our decisions enough to make sure we are doing what we think is best.

So here is what I want to know.  When do YOU know that you are being a good enough mom?  Is it in the bigger picture or the smaller moments?

My four year old is a fairly independent, self-sufficient kid.  Last night when he went to sleep I told my husband that I miss the moments when he needed his mommy.  (They were few and far between anyway because he was always a Daddy’s boy.)  Then first thing this morning that boy walked into our room, took one look at me and I said, “Honey, you have strep throat.”  He did not have to say a word because I already knew.

I canceled my morning appointment and took him to the doctor who was amazed at the size and redness of his tonsils.  I held him as he tried to find a comfortable position in my lap despite my having a pinched sciatic nerve and being in quite a bit of pain.  He did not know I was hurting and it did not matter; because so was he and he needed his Mommy.

At that moment I was reminded that I am a good mother.  I may not remember to RSVP to every event, I don’t always want to play hockey in the driveway and sometimes I forget to put him in a purple shirt on Purple Day.  I may not always have the patience of a Saint and I may wait a day too long to do the laundry.

Yet I don’t have to wear a cape or be a June Cleaver to be a good mother.  I am certainly far from perfect but I am there when my child needs me and he knows it.  For me, that is what matters.

What matters to you?  When do YOU know that you are being a good mother?

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If you know someone who has Found the Marbles, send an email to Jessica@FoundtheMarbles.com.


Five Reasons to Love @VerizonFiOS

When we first moved to our home, we continued the contract with the cable provider that the previous owner had used.  However, within a few months we found that our Internet went down constantly and it drove us crazy.  With both my husband and I working from home we couldn’t have that continue so we switched to Verizon FiOS.

Now we have reliable Internet service. We can get our work done, check our social media accounts and our kids can use their laptop to watch Annoying Orange on YouTube.

Where we live there are some vicious wind and rain storms throughout the year. (This city girl was unprepared for the intense storms we get here in the suburbs.) You would think that our cable system would be down often given the amount of wind we have here.  Luckily, FiOS is more weather resistant and more durable than the copper phone lines or coaxial cable.  The advanced fiber optic technology lets you watch HDTV with fewer interruptions and weather interference.

Quite frankly, this family couldn’t survive without our DVR.  Due to our kids’ crazy schedule of activities, we rely on the DVR quite a bit.  Unfortunately, despite having a bazillion hours of DVR space available, between Big Time Rush, Supah Ninjas and Power Rangers Samurai there’s not much room left for grown up shows!

Verizon FiOS also has some awesome TV widgets like Twitter, Facebook and YouTube. Plus, with FiOS we are “future-proofed” for all upcoming Internet tools and apps.  I like to tweet on Tuesdays about The Biggest Loser while I’m watching it and I can chat with my regular tweeps right on the TV.

I haven’t told my kids that they can watch YouTube from the TV yet.  I think we will wait until they are out of the Annoying Orange phase before I fill them in on that neat feature.  That talking orange really is just way too annoying to watch repeatedly on a big screen.

I haven’t used Flex View yet, but it is really cool too.  With Flex View you can buy, rent or watch on-demand videos on your FiOS TV, your pc or on your mobile phone.  So if you got a movie to watch on-demand but weren’t able to finish it, you can watch the rest on your phone while waiting in the car pool line. That is pretty awesome, right?

Who knew that a cable/internet provider would make my life as a mom so much easier!  Now, if only FiOS could remind my son to do his homework…

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I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms and Verizon FiOS sponsored blogging program.  Any views, opinions or experiences expressed are my own.  Photo credit: Ambro/FreeDigitalPhotos.netPlease see the Disclosure policy on this site with any questions.

Crazy Things Parents Say

Bill Cosby always said that kids say the darndest things.  Well, how about us parents?  We spit out some zingers here and there too, right?  Saying crazy things is apparently a rite not only reserved for the young.

I have an old friend, who I will call Kim (because that it her name).  She and her husband would keep a running dialog of absurd statements that came out of their mouths when speaking to their three daughters.  Her favorite was, “Rachel, take off your wings before you come to the table.”

You know what crazy statements I’m talking about, right?  It’s the moments as parents when you pause and think, “Did I really just say that?”

I don’t know about you, but I never thought I would hear myself making statements like, “Stop singing and eat your chicken” and “No, your intramural soccer game will not be on ESPN.”  Yes, we parents really do say the darndest things.

Recently I told my four year old that markers are for paper, not carpets.  At lunch I told him to get his baseball players out of his milk.  This morning I told my other son that he might want to consider putting on shoes before leaving for the bus stop.

My old college professors would be so proud.

On the other hand, these statements let us see the lighter side of parenting and the occasional absurdity of it all.  As ridiculous as I may sound sometimes, I would not change it for the world.

I encourage you to journal not only the funny lines that come out of the mouths of your babes, but those which come from you as well.  You won’t regret having those memories one day too.

Got any zingers of your own?  Share them by leaving a comment below and confirm for me that Bill Cosby had it only partially correct.

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